quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
