AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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