I met the friendliest cop last night
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
