I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
