The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
