weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
