This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
