she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
