Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
God, I missed his penis.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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