i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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