Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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