I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm drive I can fine osifer
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
