The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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