If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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