I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
