omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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