Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
