absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
PANTIES FOUND
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
