She's JV to your varsity
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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