wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm passing your future prison.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Your cock deserves a montage
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
my poor anus
My ass is underappreciated
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
