wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
