i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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