Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
