His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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