her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
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When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
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Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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