OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The best revenge is premature balding
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
