I am puke
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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