If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
That's when you crack a 10am beer
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
