Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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