Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
soo... how was my night?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
