I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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