I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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