I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
