I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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