Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
