You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
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It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
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For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize