she smelled like a LAN party
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize