i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize