Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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