is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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