If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Randomize
