My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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