it wasn't lemon gatorade
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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