so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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