Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
