please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
