I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
