We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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