I swear she didn't look like that last week.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
