How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
