There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
