Plan B is the new Plan A
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
