Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
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I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.