YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.