mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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