i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.