Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises

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  (905): So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises http://tfl.nu/ed2j
  Replies (15) Good night (1587) Bad night (765)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later

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  (336): maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later http://tfl.nu/sccq
  Replies (18) Good night (782) Bad night (3461)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd

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  (905): I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd http://tfl.nu/je1e
  Replies (6) Good night (1007) Bad night (2077)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?

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  (605): just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl? http://tfl.nu/v0ft
  Replies (10) Good night (5142) Bad night (822)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?

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  (631): She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that? http://tfl.nu/dqln
  Replies (6) Good night (3770) Bad night (893)
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  (626): View more from California

  do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?

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  (626): do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom? http://tfl.nu/95nz
  Replies (4) Good night (1747) Bad night (828)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.

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  (850): They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here. http://tfl.nu/6x4c
  Replies (3) Good night (2576) Bad night (564)
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  (516): View more from New York

  VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR

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  (516): VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR http://tfl.nu/4b6v
  Replies (3) Good night (1552) Bad night (973)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm

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  (203): Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm http://tfl.nu/zhmu
  Replies (9) Good night (959) Bad night (1721)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...

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  (360): that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem... http://tfl.nu/rc3g
  Replies (12) Good night (2318) Bad night (561)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.

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  (434): Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them. http://tfl.nu/1lvf
  Replies (19) Good night (1555) Bad night (539)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.

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  (563): You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say. http://tfl.nu/uumg
  Replies (4) Good night (879) Bad night (320)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.

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  (906): I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring. http://tfl.nu/2xnf
  Replies (2) Good night (328) Bad night (426)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...

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  (202): He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning... http://tfl.nu/6uz6
  Replies (3) Good night (325) Bad night (614)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.

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  (763): I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland. http://tfl.nu/vdg1
  Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (134)

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