he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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