There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
that's an acceptable place to lick
He passed out mid-signature
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
