some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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