Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
