I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
