dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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