it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
