Well apparently he's into motor boating.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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