well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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