oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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