so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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