the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
