I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
