dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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